Director's Statement
THE LOST VOICE is a story about a female pioneer who’s been forgotten in history. I go on this journey searching for the truth and try to discover who Pola was and consequently I am constantly confronted with my own identity as a
female filmmaker. There are many aspects we have in common – she didn’t have any children, she considered writing to be her vocation, she wasn’t an accomplished filmmaker – all traits I share with her. But there were also
differences – she was married three times, lived a life of luxury in an elegant Villa, and her appearance was of great value to her – qualities that set us apart.
As I continue to learn more about Pola, the more I question if filmmaking was my destiny. In mirroring her story to mine, I start to confront my own demons as a struggling filmmaker.
The story of Pola has taken me into the thick jungle of the Amazon as I try to make sense of her life and accomplishments. Searching for Pola has put me on a path to better understand my own meaning and purpose in life – and while I set out on a mission to save the lost voice of Pola and share her story, I come to realize that I have found my own voice as a filmmaker along the way.
BACKGROUND
How often have I asked my mother to tell me the stories of her family – from my grandmother escaping the Russians after World War II, to my mother escaping East Germany months before the wall was built. But the fascination about my great-grand aunt Pola always impressed me most. Not only was she a published author but also a screenwriter in the 1920s and married to a filmmaker who had once worked for UFA (renowned German production company) – a dream that I had been pursuing all my life.
Was it fate that brought me to this path or was I always meant to follow in my family’s footsteps. The wonderment however only starts there. Pola killed an anaconda and travelled to the Amazon forest, which during that time was not something women did. Furthermore, the very fact that Pola was the first women to film in the Amazon alongside her husband, has always made me curious in knowing who this person was. Was she a strong, confident woman? Or did she have to prove herself? Was she respected as a female filmmaker or was it circumstance that forced her into the role. This period in time is just a slice of her life. In order to paint a complete picture of who she was, how she lived, and what became of her after she travelled back home to a Germany that was about to go to war with the world. I will be searching for records and documentation in order to help piece this
As I find out about her past, it’s not my discovery of who she was that perhaps surprises or affects me most, rather the path I have set myself on where I am confronted with my own identity as a woman. As a struggling filmmaker, I am constantly confronted with the question of what is my purpose and what is my value. That is at the heart of this documentary, as I search who Pola was and where I am constantly confronted in reflecting her failures and accomplishment to myself.
As a filmmaker we intentionally choose to be behind the camera. When a story, however, catches up and is as personal as this search for my great-grand aunt Pola, I had no choice but to turn the cameras around as I embark on this journey. Perhaps timely, it’s a story that touches upon cinema history in Germany, environmental changes in the Amazon forest, but most importantly it forces me to look at the darkest part of my own life as I search for the meaning of life.